累了，我真的累了。

从那天后，你对我的态度不一样了，不要说没有，我感觉到的。

你有秘密没有告诉我。

我不会再问你，或许就是你不信任我吧！

我不想我们之间还有秘密。

我不知道我这次是对还是错的选择。

可能这一次就真的没有回头的路了。

I never wish it was you~
I never hope that it was you~
I was so afraid that it to be you~

Please god, no matter what happen~
I will pray hard~
For him,
to overcome all the obstacles~
He will get well soon
AND
everything gone from him~
Wish him luck.......

DECEMBER 

Finally it came

I had been waiting for it.

It means i will be having my 1 month holiday right now

It means i had finish my final examination right now.

It means i can always hang out with my buddy right now.

It means i will be shaking legs at home right now.

It means i gonna use all my time watching drama and movies right now.

It means i gonna miss my bie for the whole day right now.

It means i can spend lots of time with my family right now.

It means i can shop with my sister and mom right now.

It means i can have meals with my cousins right now.

I can celebrate the X'mas at home~

Wondering if it is okay if i ask a bbq party from mom?

I can celebrate the New Year at home~

Wondering if it is okay if bie gonna meet pa and ma?

I wanna go for a trip badly, but my financial not really afford me to do that.

Bie said he going to genting, i told him i want to meet him there. 

But too bad brother is going to kl, so i should stay home accompany my grandma~

 

I am so freaking boring at home right now~~

Movie Movie and Movie~~~

I wanna get some extra money for myself....

I made lots of thinking and i dunno what i can do now~

Somebody pls, save me from boredom~

Why Why  Why Why Why ????
My eye bengkak now????

One big and One small~~~

How am i suppose to go out later???

How am i suppose to tell him i don wan to go back home so early??

I enjoy the day here~~

But i have to go back tonight~~

Mom miss me lots~

Dad called and ask me when i going home~

Di say he needs me~

Mie and wei wanna date me out too.....

But i need my bie as well~~

He make fun for me this 2 days.

Hugging him and sleep....

His mom treated me so well....

They heart me just like i heart them~

Bie, why you have to go to penang today???

If not i ma can stay at your house for a week more.

But hahahahaha....

Mama miss me, so i still have to go back~

I noe you will miss me alot right?

Muaks, i will always love you~

Spending a sweet day at his house~~~

He is working and i am online for whole day~

Its a rainning day though....

Then, i went to night market with her mum, shopping with her mum~~

We did went to eat sushi and watch movie.

Its a simple day for me, but it warm my heart alots.

Hugging him and sleep~~~

I feel so comfortable to be with him~

But then, feel shy to his mum...

His mum serve me with carrying the lunch to me inside the room~~~

Bie, i love your family so much~~

Later on, i gonna go to fetch your sis with your mom~

Dun miss me and do your work o~~

At last, i finished my exam and going to airport to take my flight~~

I totally can't wait to see my darling~~

But, our flight suppose to be at 8.10.

Then it told us that the flight delay due to some technical problem~

Yisshhhhhhhh..................

I got to wait dunno until wat time~

Then, at 9, they said delay again.

Delay delay and delay~

Surely bie have to wait long for me~
I was so excited then Air Asia......

yeeuuuuu~~~
until 9.40 only we get to our flight~~

bie already waited for an hour at the airport for me~
Sorry bie, you drive far all the way to get me and still have to wait for an hour and drive back for 3 hours~
I love you so much~

And we did reach his house at almost 3am~~

4am is the time for me to b pig then~~~

Thanks god~!

Its the arrival of the last exam paper, finally~!

Muaks muaks~~

Love the day so much~

Exam is totally torturing me~
Especially the last 2 paper~~
Hell, i need somebody to come and save.
Telling me that they cancel the 2 papers?
Lol
I know its impossible~
But, i really wish time fly fly fast.
I don't want to suffer for this 2 days anymore~
Clean the exam and clear my books~~
I want to get my darling now~

Pls click for me o~~~

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Anybody can get me part time job???
I want to work.....

I want to earn money~~

I wan to get myself a phone~~

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

GOSSIP GIRLS

 i am totally addicted to you~

I managed to finish all season 1 - season 4 now........

can't wait for another episode.....

torturing me badly to wait for next

I doubted myself again and again and again~~~

That feeling is haunting badly.

GOSH~

Happy birthday to my xiao xiao mei~~~~ 

SIN LEI

we always had a wonderful time when 6 of us went out together.

Having a simple dinner and it worth most of our laughter all together.

You are the one who seldom talk,

and i will always the one who talk alot.....

maybe like non stop???
haha~~~

At least it worth everybody laugh, happy all the time.....

Don't play if you don't wish to lose your money~~

Don't show me this kind of face after you lose your money~~

I am kinda fed up of it~

I am fine if you don't wish to talk with me for the whole day like yesterday~

I will be fine~

I am just who i am~

If you not trying to talk to me for a day fine~

I will be okay with it~

Just tell me you are not in the mood,

and i wil not disturb you at all~

Its so irritating if you acted like this~

I wont talk to you if you don wish to~

I am not a slave for you when u need me

and don't think you can dump me when you don need me~

I just a normal person

a normal girl

a normal friend i can be~

At last, i went to have a buffet style dinner at Grand Borneo Hotel with my frens in Sabah.

Its such a nice dinner i had~

Not really nice actually.

But the day, the moment we enjoy there is fun~

We ate and play around and fooling each other around~

we still went to beach at Tanjung Aru.

It's such a beautiful beach i had ever been,

the sand and the sea water.

It feel so nice to be there.

We were playing with water.
It made me wet all the whole body~

Yeeeuuu~~~

I smell the happiness and i never thought we could we strongly bond together by friendship.

And now, we are more than friendship, we are all housemate~

Happily staying together~

And play things around, do things together.

i never felt regret to move out from my hostel as it make me used up alot of money.

I bought my happiness....

I just simple love them alot~

I cant wait to go for buffet tomorro night~~

How happy if i could finish my exam right now~

And i could just take my luggage and fly to kl now~~

I wish too see bie right now~

He is too nice to me~

Driving 3 hours to LCCT airport to fetch me...

And another 3hours from LCCT to his house

He gonna be very tired.

I will accompany you all the long long journey~~

Love you darling~

A za A za~~!

I am fighting fighting~~

A BIG BIG war

Exam is going to be starting tomorrow.
but i am still sitting on my chair, holding notes and eyes on my laptop.

Is it my laziness which don't allow me to study or my emotion prevent me from studying?

I dunno how to express it.

I need somebody to come and save.

I d ask help from Jmie but, she din reply me~

haha~~

Nothing happen to me, but i seem like so emo now~

Something that cannot being explain~

Because you? you or you?

No way~!

I live for myself.

Not for you all.

Wake up miss SharoN~

No more night or day dreaming~

its been too much imagination for yourself.

Gonna pull urself out before it gets deeper and deeper.

You should understand yourself.

Grandpa, i miss you.

Shall i meet you at home when i get back?

Can you do this for me?

Its been months~

But, i still like unacceptable of it.

Time, time, time, its all bluffing me~

I need you always my grandpa~

Got the news from my sis yesterday~

Mom and dad went to KL for your funeral~

It might be the last time i saw you in my grandpa's funeral~

But, don't worry, my grandpa is there, at the heaven waiting for you.

You wont be any lonely there.

You are such a good uncle to me~

We will always remember you~

RIP uncle Weng.....

Its ah kang's birthday last Thursday.
As we will all having exam on coming Monday, we decided to celebrate it on Wednesday.
We will be all fighting for our final exam before we are going home~
Then, we went to Upperstar to have our western dinner.
I ordered the lamb chop, its absolutely definitely delicious babe~!
I love it so much, and also not to forgot the baked mushroom soup~
Yummy~~
We went there in 3 cars, total of 13 persons? i think its correct~
Its been so long we had not been having a gathering like this.
Happy to see that every1 were there, and we could chat for the whole day.
Then, they decided to come our house to continue their activities.
Who ever don't know what's the activities to be on at our house.
Bought some tiger beer and they started to play will poker card.
I still have my presentation on the next day so i decide to go on my bed at 3.
They continued.
That's is what usually happen last few weeks.
Then, this is the first time i should say for eileen and jean to play overnight.
Also the first time for them to play 4-person mahjong~
I don't really know how they do that~
Though its still a happy day for all of them~~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY O AH KANG~

I am done with my day~
Happy cause today it changed to be you sms me first.
Hohoho....
nothing make me special except ur sms~
I miss you alot~

I smell something different~

Or maybe i should not sms him?

He never acted like this to me.

He treated me differently right now.

Is it because he knew about it already?

Or its his jealousy?

I want to know the answer please.

Its so suffering~

Maybe you will never know what i am thinking.

Maybe you will never know how i feel.

Maybe you will not going to understand my feeling.

But 

i wish one day, maybe some day i can express it out to you.

And maybe you will accept it.

Just give me sometime to think over it.

I don't wish to lose this friendship with you.

I really dont know what going on on myself.

is it i did something wrong today?

I not sure.

Seems like i doing the wrong thing everyday.

Early in the morning, he play with my phone, he said he wanted to read my sms.

So, i did not say anything and i allowed him to read them.

So he knew my everything.

I did not know this is god or bad for me.

I just wish he knew everything and tell me what he actually think of me.

But, after that he started to sms with 3 girls and like flirting with them.

I was like "what the hell" and I am getting jealous.

He like angry me and i did not know why.

I hope i can know what he thinking.

And yet, i felt so guilty to him.
I was like the one who caused him to lost money alot. I mean alot.

Or maybe sometime i think too much?

Yea, today i knew something new about you.

It was like the reason which make you not to be in a relationship?

I was like ouch, how can a guy tahan that?

I felt sorry but it makes me getting more ^*($ to you.

I dunno what happening to me.

Can somebody help me PLS?

totally dunno what i thinking......

Recently i get mad easily. I get angry easily. I get boom easily.

Don't ask me the reason. Don't ask me why.

Me myself, don't have the answer for it as well.

Sorry to my babe, he got to take it all from me.

I keep complaining, keep scolding him and he seem like dunno anything.

He keep saying sorry.

Yea, i noe its me the one who is moody and emo-ing.

I should not get mad on you.

But,

who ask you to get a htc and i get jealous because of it.

Ishh...

who ask you to busy with your htc and dump me aside.

Ishh..

I really not meant to angry at you.

Maybe its because of the pressure being study?

I not sure for that.

But glad to know that you tolerate with me.

Glad to know that you actually keepin my pict in your htc.

I know you wont forget me at all.

That's all my fault.

I love you my hubby~

Still a long way to go,

You n me~ got to wait for 3 weeks more.

You have got what you want and what yo wish for

BUT

do I?

Thanks a lot to Jmie and Shu Wei.
Accompany me all along the way i was moody and totally out of my mind yesterday.
Without u both, i really don noe what should i do~

Jmie, you are always my best buddy.
As you say, 1996-2010.
Our friendships last long and it will never end~
Tik Tok when the time reaches 12am, i told u i m hungry but no mood to eat.
And u give me this.

They do really warm my heart~
I always know, whenever i am whatever i have,
you will share with me and will be with me.
I love you always ah MIE~

Shu Wei, thanks alot to you.
Actually i know you having the same problem like me.
But you are a good guy.
U accompnay me all along the time.
You told me urs and i tell u mind.
Sometime, i need your help.
and terbalik.
you need my help sometimes.
Thanks fren.

Did i did something wrong?

Why am i treated like this?

I am not suppose to be suffering from all the kinds of SHIT~

I wan everything i wished for~

I want all them back to my life~

A chance might given to me~

A chance might be given out by me~

USA exchange student program

I was once so excited when i heard about it.

Should i apply for it?

Should i forget about it?

I not sure.

Suppose, i thought its easy for me to make my decision~

Just like going and gain experience, traveling or study abroad.

But, once i decided to apply.

Many problems pop out from my mind.

I not yet ask permission from my parents.

I told Sayang and he ask me think carefully first.

I had to extend 1 year.

I had to leave my housemates, coursemates, family for 3 months.

And extend 1 year, again.

How my ptptn?

How i gonna leave my Sayang?

I am totally happy with my life now.

But, its a good chance for me.

Give up?

Or Grab it?

I not sure and i know nobody can give me the answer.

So i just decided.
Maybe i should try to get the form, read the terms and conditions.

Then only i got my decision~

That's what i should be doing~

Hmmm, i also "bu she de" to leave my Sayang~

I feel so lonely here without him.

Yet, i gonna fly so far away from him.

Lagi susah~

No way~

I need him badly.

And i know he does need me too~~

Finally i understanding myself.

Sitting in the living room.

Looking at the rainy sky.

I finally get what actually i thinking.

Yes, maybe i had the feeling to you,

but you seems likely to be only my brother.

That's all.

I am totally not the apple of your eyes

AND

You too, not the cup of coffee of mine.

 Brother~~~Always~~

I and my him quarrel again last 2 days.

He said i hide something from him.

I dare not to tell him what actually i hiding.

I din hide anything from him. 

I told you everything i have with me.

But, only this, i know i should not tell you.

Even it had become a past to my life.

I don't wish to make you sad and don't wish this could be a scar for both of us.

I want to be happily with you.

I don't wish you will think about it everyday over and over again.

I know you will.......

Just keep it inside my heart~

Don't worry~

Promise you, i will never hurt you anymore.

I will study hard all the time.

Tik Tok Tik Tok Tik Tok.

Sky is still raining.

Feel so cold.

And it makes me to think about you.

Hug you and together~

we looking at the redish sky.

GOSH

I don't like that feeling at all

Concentrate!

Sometimes, when already in a relationship, if there is quarrel,

the person who is gonna be sad is me, he never understand what is my feeling until i told him.

Luckily he knew its his fault to make i sad.

It makes me love you more darling~

You never made me felt your understanding, ur loving, ur sweet sweet heart until yesterday..

When you say sorry, it warmed my heart.

Maybe what u had given me is not such good like other people.

But i still can feel your love for me.

I am not greedy,i just wish to have a person like you to care me, love me and always be there for me.

But darling, i felt guilty to you.

I did something wrong to you and not dare to tell you at all.

long distance relationship.....

we having it.....

Sometimes i feel lonely and i knew this is what you feel too....

That's why i can't control myself to think to have a person that can be beside me.

I knew i had feeling towards a person.

He is close to me and he make i to be liking him cause he can be beside me.

But i know i should not be like this.

This is unfair to you at all.

Remember u ask me before that is i like him now?

I love you, but i not sure is that i like him or maybe i js want somebody can be with me.

I told my fren and they say i should not treat you like this,

they said u love me with ur true heart.

and told me to forgot him as i m not the type of gal he like.

Yea, finally i got it correct.

The one i want is you, not him.

He is just a friend of mine.

You will always be the only 1 for me.

I have been waited for so long to be with u together.

I should not let off again.

I don't want to be regret again.

Darling~~32 days to go

I gonna meet you soon~

I love you darling

Finally, i am ready to write a new post.
Nothing special happen for me this few weeks? few months?
Except, my life now~~
Everybody, every student sleep early and goes to class in the morning.
Me~Class in the morning, but i did not attend it after i back from raya holidays.
I now used to sleep early 5 in the morning and do nothing.
I sit and online, walk around the living room and see them gambling or maybe sometime playing mahjong.
I became their ah sei for Thursday, ah lok for Saturday and ah cat for Sunday.
Haha~
Nothing bad actually if i sleep enough, but soon, exam coming.
So, i decide to Terminate such life and return to the normal life.
I should not waste my time and forfeit my study.
I must work hard for it, my midterm is very terrible.
Guys, don't ask me to play or sleep 5 in the morning yo~
We have to control our life.

Happy day again

Manage to gather with my darlings when i when back to Penang for my 2-week Raya holiday~

I miss them alot~

Just it's my short break, so i was quite busy at home.

I will meet you all soon and more when i go home again k?

I love you all~

I was gonna take 9pm flight on that day, 

but we still manage to go to the brand-new red-box and went to Northern Hotel to have our lovely buffet lunch.

I wish we could gather 5 of us to go one more time~

Me~ Wei~Jmie~Ying~Fheng

But all seem to be quite busy.

No way~ we got to get some free time for all of us~

 

So fast, a week gone and i just finish all my midterm~

I gonna enjoy a few weeks before my final exam come.

And happy to say that, i with him, i and him~ 

Being back together again....

I got so much different feeling now.

I totally understand why my sis can sleep with a smile on her face.

That's what we call LOVE.

Even now i am just like her too~

Happy and he is the one in my mind whenever i got to have sleep.

I miss him alot~

How i wish i can finish this semester faster and get back to meet him soon.

Love you darling, we will never be lonely anymore.

You got me and i got you~

Hate it~~

Friends, good to be when not staying together~

Even not good friends or best friends and just normal friends only, 

But when started to stay together, problem will start happening.

everything bad and good version of that person we could understand clearly.

Suppose to be nothing for me, i can tolerate everything everything, 

but if it keep happening, of course nobody can handle it anymore.

Believe me, its horrible, i keep telling myself, its nothing to me~

all i need to do, i behave~i control my temper~i need to do so,

Good to me and the other too~

I know i can control de, just like what Sing told me, control and soon everything will be invisible to me and its like antibiotic already~~~

Weee....i waiting for the antibiotic~~~

其实，对的意义是在哪里？如何解释?

字典里，没有教我什么是对还是错。

放弃是对的？还是我应该捉着不放？

没错，暧昧是一种不用负责任的感情，不必付出，要使任何一方有了他的另一半，也是没有错的。可是，真正的暧昧，带来的不只是开心，也留着痛苦的感觉。

常常你说你爱我，我也说我爱你，就真的感觉不一样了，彼此想放掉对方，就只怕以后会后悔，可是又考虑对方会不会找不到另一半。

 爱你爱你，这句话，我对你说的时候，我自己也不清楚我到底还是不是喜欢你，是一种依赖？习惯？还是感觉？

睡前会问一问自己，始终没有答案。

我是典型的水瓶座，我摸不清自己，我会看透人家，自己却是一塌糊涂。

What a day~

Just after a day, i had my seafood for dinner again.

Yesterday i went for seafood with my coursemate.

Then, i came back and told my housemate how nice how cheap the seafood a......

Haha, finally they can't Tahan anymore, and ask me to go again today.

Actually i slept at 6 in the morning only, woke up at 1 afternoon.

Skipped 2 class and did not step in school at all today.

I not suppose to do that, but i was playing card with them.

Until MorNing~!!!

Don't ask me what's the result, i ain't gonna tell you seriously.

Then, without an empty stomach for the whole,

we go for seafood again at last at 6.

Order a lot things today.

Include 1KG Prawn ** 3KG Crabbies ** 1KG Squid ** Steamed Fish ** Fried Lala ** ABALONE

Yea, abalone swimming in the 'pool'..

Not really nice....

So so only, they said they prefer abalone in the can.

Oh my goshhhhh......

Now, its already 3 in the morning, 

they still sitting and playing card.

I skipped it....

I should not play.

I knew what will happen if i play.

Guess you also understand.

Though today, you sms me until 2 in the morning.

Told me things that i really don't know.

I miss you, but not the way like couples.

Just like what we conclude:

Above Friendship, Below Relationship.

I love this quotes.