Did i did something wrong?

Why am i treated like this?

I am not suppose to be suffering from all the kinds of SHIT~

I wan everything i wished for~

I want all them back to my life~

A chance might given to me~

A chance might be given out by me~

USA exchange student program

I was once so excited when i heard about it.

Should i apply for it?

Should i forget about it?

I not sure.

Suppose, i thought its easy for me to make my decision~

Just like going and gain experience, traveling or study abroad.

But, once i decided to apply.

Many problems pop out from my mind.

I not yet ask permission from my parents.

I told Sayang and he ask me think carefully first.

I had to extend 1 year.

I had to leave my housemates, coursemates, family for 3 months.

And extend 1 year, again.

How my ptptn?

How i gonna leave my Sayang?

I am totally happy with my life now.

But, its a good chance for me.

Give up?

Or Grab it?

I not sure and i know nobody can give me the answer.

So i just decided.
Maybe i should try to get the form, read the terms and conditions.

Then only i got my decision~

That's what i should be doing~

Hmmm, i also "bu she de" to leave my Sayang~

I feel so lonely here without him.

Yet, i gonna fly so far away from him.

Lagi susah~

No way~

I need him badly.

And i know he does need me too~~

Finally i understanding myself.

Sitting in the living room.

Looking at the rainy sky.

I finally get what actually i thinking.

Yes, maybe i had the feeling to you,

but you seems likely to be only my brother.

That's all.

I am totally not the apple of your eyes

AND

You too, not the cup of coffee of mine.

 Brother~~~Always~~

I and my him quarrel again last 2 days.

He said i hide something from him.

I dare not to tell him what actually i hiding.

I din hide anything from him. 

I told you everything i have with me.

But, only this, i know i should not tell you.

Even it had become a past to my life.

I don't wish to make you sad and don't wish this could be a scar for both of us.

I want to be happily with you.

I don't wish you will think about it everyday over and over again.

I know you will.......

Just keep it inside my heart~

Don't worry~

Promise you, i will never hurt you anymore.

I will study hard all the time.

Tik Tok Tik Tok Tik Tok.

Sky is still raining.

Feel so cold.

And it makes me to think about you.

Hug you and together~

we looking at the redish sky.

GOSH

I don't like that feeling at all

Concentrate!

Sometimes, when already in a relationship, if there is quarrel,

the person who is gonna be sad is me, he never understand what is my feeling until i told him.

Luckily he knew its his fault to make i sad.

It makes me love you more darling~

You never made me felt your understanding, ur loving, ur sweet sweet heart until yesterday..

When you say sorry, it warmed my heart.

Maybe what u had given me is not such good like other people.

But i still can feel your love for me.

I am not greedy,i just wish to have a person like you to care me, love me and always be there for me.

But darling, i felt guilty to you.

I did something wrong to you and not dare to tell you at all.

long distance relationship.....

we having it.....

Sometimes i feel lonely and i knew this is what you feel too....

That's why i can't control myself to think to have a person that can be beside me.

I knew i had feeling towards a person.

He is close to me and he make i to be liking him cause he can be beside me.

But i know i should not be like this.

This is unfair to you at all.

Remember u ask me before that is i like him now?

I love you, but i not sure is that i like him or maybe i js want somebody can be with me.

I told my fren and they say i should not treat you like this,

they said u love me with ur true heart.

and told me to forgot him as i m not the type of gal he like.

Yea, finally i got it correct.

The one i want is you, not him.

He is just a friend of mine.

You will always be the only 1 for me.

I have been waited for so long to be with u together.

I should not let off again.

I don't want to be regret again.

Darling~~32 days to go

I gonna meet you soon~

I love you darling

Finally, i am ready to write a new post.
Nothing special happen for me this few weeks? few months?
Except, my life now~~
Everybody, every student sleep early and goes to class in the morning.
Me~Class in the morning, but i did not attend it after i back from raya holidays.
I now used to sleep early 5 in the morning and do nothing.
I sit and online, walk around the living room and see them gambling or maybe sometime playing mahjong.
I became their ah sei for Thursday, ah lok for Saturday and ah cat for Sunday.
Haha~
Nothing bad actually if i sleep enough, but soon, exam coming.
So, i decide to Terminate such life and return to the normal life.
I should not waste my time and forfeit my study.
I must work hard for it, my midterm is very terrible.
Guys, don't ask me to play or sleep 5 in the morning yo~
We have to control our life.

Happy day again

Manage to gather with my darlings when i when back to Penang for my 2-week Raya holiday~

I miss them alot~

Just it's my short break, so i was quite busy at home.

I will meet you all soon and more when i go home again k?

I love you all~

I was gonna take 9pm flight on that day, 

but we still manage to go to the brand-new red-box and went to Northern Hotel to have our lovely buffet lunch.

I wish we could gather 5 of us to go one more time~

Me~ Wei~Jmie~Ying~Fheng

But all seem to be quite busy.

No way~ we got to get some free time for all of us~

 

So fast, a week gone and i just finish all my midterm~

I gonna enjoy a few weeks before my final exam come.

And happy to say that, i with him, i and him~ 

Being back together again....

I got so much different feeling now.

I totally understand why my sis can sleep with a smile on her face.

That's what we call LOVE.

Even now i am just like her too~

Happy and he is the one in my mind whenever i got to have sleep.

I miss him alot~

How i wish i can finish this semester faster and get back to meet him soon.

Love you darling, we will never be lonely anymore.

You got me and i got you~

Hate it~~

Friends, good to be when not staying together~

Even not good friends or best friends and just normal friends only, 

But when started to stay together, problem will start happening.

everything bad and good version of that person we could understand clearly.

Suppose to be nothing for me, i can tolerate everything everything, 

but if it keep happening, of course nobody can handle it anymore.

Believe me, its horrible, i keep telling myself, its nothing to me~

all i need to do, i behave~i control my temper~i need to do so,

Good to me and the other too~

I know i can control de, just like what Sing told me, control and soon everything will be invisible to me and its like antibiotic already~~~

Weee....i waiting for the antibiotic~~~

其实，对的意义是在哪里？如何解释?

字典里，没有教我什么是对还是错。

放弃是对的？还是我应该捉着不放？

没错，暧昧是一种不用负责任的感情，不必付出，要使任何一方有了他的另一半，也是没有错的。可是，真正的暧昧，带来的不只是开心，也留着痛苦的感觉。

常常你说你爱我，我也说我爱你，就真的感觉不一样了，彼此想放掉对方，就只怕以后会后悔，可是又考虑对方会不会找不到另一半。

 爱你爱你，这句话，我对你说的时候，我自己也不清楚我到底还是不是喜欢你，是一种依赖？习惯？还是感觉？

睡前会问一问自己，始终没有答案。

我是典型的水瓶座，我摸不清自己，我会看透人家，自己却是一塌糊涂。

What a day~

Just after a day, i had my seafood for dinner again.

Yesterday i went for seafood with my coursemate.

Then, i came back and told my housemate how nice how cheap the seafood a......

Haha, finally they can't Tahan anymore, and ask me to go again today.

Actually i slept at 6 in the morning only, woke up at 1 afternoon.

Skipped 2 class and did not step in school at all today.

I not suppose to do that, but i was playing card with them.

Until MorNing~!!!

Don't ask me what's the result, i ain't gonna tell you seriously.

Then, without an empty stomach for the whole,

we go for seafood again at last at 6.

Order a lot things today.

Include 1KG Prawn ** 3KG Crabbies ** 1KG Squid ** Steamed Fish ** Fried Lala ** ABALONE

Yea, abalone swimming in the 'pool'..

Not really nice....

So so only, they said they prefer abalone in the can.

Oh my goshhhhh......

Now, its already 3 in the morning, 

they still sitting and playing card.

I skipped it....

I should not play.

I knew what will happen if i play.

Guess you also understand.

Though today, you sms me until 2 in the morning.

Told me things that i really don't know.

I miss you, but not the way like couples.

Just like what we conclude:

Above Friendship, Below Relationship.

I love this quotes.

 

Free...

Finally, finally is the day after exam, and i gonna go back soon.

Finish mid term exam before holiday.

Enjoy a nice meal with coursemates.

And
And

And

Play cards and mahjong everyday????

Seafood~!

Seafood again~~~
I love to eat seafood again~
That day went for seafood at the famous Gayang seafood.
Very very expensive but not bad...
Then today, went to eat seafood.......again~~~
Then nice nice except nice its EXCELLENT~
Got fish, prawn, crab, crab, squid and also balitong.
Nice nice...
My friends say they will bring me go again tomorrow.
Yea....
I gonna get high cholesterol d......

Boring~!

I just woke up from my sweet sweet bed, i miss it badly now~!

Haha.....

I gonna have 2 midterm exam tomoro yet i still can fb now.

I don't want to do assignment~!

I don't want to study~!

But, last week the 2 midterm, i got really very bad result, if i din study again, sure i die very ugly.

I should not do this to myself.

I will hate myself in the future.

I gonna make it up~!

Then then then only i can enjoy my holiday nice and relax.....

I going hoe soon all my baby dalring.

Wait for me ya~!!1

happy & sad

happy ya?
quite happy today.....
But a bit sad.
People just like this , feel sad even when feel happy...
Happy say u say i miss u....
Sad because he say i am fat....