Did i did something wrong?

Why am i treated like this?

I am not suppose to be suffering from all the kinds of SHIT~

I wan everything i wished for~

I want all them back to my life~

A chance might given to me~

A chance might be given out by me~

USA exchange student program

I was once so excited when i heard about it.

Should i apply for it?

Should i forget about it?

I not sure.

Suppose, i thought its easy for me to make my decision~

Just like going and gain experience, traveling or study abroad.

But, once i decided to apply.

Many problems pop out from my mind.

I not yet ask permission from my parents.

I told Sayang and he ask me think carefully first.

I had to extend 1 year.

I had to leave my housemates, coursemates, family for 3 months.

And extend 1 year, again.

How my ptptn?

How i gonna leave my Sayang?

I am totally happy with my life now.

But, its a good chance for me.

Give up?

Or Grab it?

I not sure and i know nobody can give me the answer.

So i just decided.
Maybe i should try to get the form, read the terms and conditions.

Then only i got my decision~

That's what i should be doing~

Hmmm, i also "bu she de" to leave my Sayang~

I feel so lonely here without him.

Yet, i gonna fly so far away from him.

Lagi susah~

No way~

I need him badly.

And i know he does need me too~~

Finally i understanding myself.

Sitting in the living room.

Looking at the rainy sky.

I finally get what actually i thinking.

Yes, maybe i had the feeling to you,

but you seems likely to be only my brother.

That's all.

I am totally not the apple of your eyes

AND

You too, not the cup of coffee of mine.

 Brother~~~Always~~

I and my him quarrel again last 2 days.

He said i hide something from him.

I dare not to tell him what actually i hiding.

I din hide anything from him. 

I told you everything i have with me.

But, only this, i know i should not tell you.

Even it had become a past to my life.

I don't wish to make you sad and don't wish this could be a scar for both of us.

I want to be happily with you.

I don't wish you will think about it everyday over and over again.

I know you will.......

Just keep it inside my heart~

Don't worry~

Promise you, i will never hurt you anymore.

I will study hard all the time.

Tik Tok Tik Tok Tik Tok.

Sky is still raining.

Feel so cold.

And it makes me to think about you.

Hug you and together~

we looking at the redish sky.

GOSH

I don't like that feeling at all

Concentrate!

Sometimes, when already in a relationship, if there is quarrel,

the person who is gonna be sad is me, he never understand what is my feeling until i told him.

Luckily he knew its his fault to make i sad.

It makes me love you more darling~

You never made me felt your understanding, ur loving, ur sweet sweet heart until yesterday..

When you say sorry, it warmed my heart.

Maybe what u had given me is not such good like other people.

But i still can feel your love for me.

I am not greedy,i just wish to have a person like you to care me, love me and always be there for me.

But darling, i felt guilty to you.

I did something wrong to you and not dare to tell you at all.

long distance relationship.....

we having it.....

Sometimes i feel lonely and i knew this is what you feel too....

That's why i can't control myself to think to have a person that can be beside me.

I knew i had feeling towards a person.

He is close to me and he make i to be liking him cause he can be beside me.

But i know i should not be like this.

This is unfair to you at all.

Remember u ask me before that is i like him now?

I love you, but i not sure is that i like him or maybe i js want somebody can be with me.

I told my fren and they say i should not treat you like this,

they said u love me with ur true heart.

and told me to forgot him as i m not the type of gal he like.

Yea, finally i got it correct.

The one i want is you, not him.

He is just a friend of mine.

You will always be the only 1 for me.

I have been waited for so long to be with u together.

I should not let off again.

I don't want to be regret again.

Darling~~32 days to go

I gonna meet you soon~

I love you darling

Finally, i am ready to write a new post.
Nothing special happen for me this few weeks? few months?
Except, my life now~~
Everybody, every student sleep early and goes to class in the morning.
Me~Class in the morning, but i did not attend it after i back from raya holidays.
I now used to sleep early 5 in the morning and do nothing.
I sit and online, walk around the living room and see them gambling or maybe sometime playing mahjong.
I became their ah sei for Thursday, ah lok for Saturday and ah cat for Sunday.
Haha~
Nothing bad actually if i sleep enough, but soon, exam coming.
So, i decide to Terminate such life and return to the normal life.
I should not waste my time and forfeit my study.
I must work hard for it, my midterm is very terrible.
Guys, don't ask me to play or sleep 5 in the morning yo~
We have to control our life.